BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN

Unknown
Top 5 comedy one-liners.

One of the things that have made my situation bearable, apart from the wonderful family and friends are the classic one-liners I have heard from, and it must be said, well meaning people. Here are my top five. These genuinely made me laugh and in some weird way added comedy to a situation so in need of it.

Number 5

A follow-up call to the babysitting agency Sitters

Me:   “I called yesterday to tell your colleague that my husband’s card didn’t work, on account of  him being dead and all, and your colleague said – well we need a new card-  I think it is shocking that she at no point said I’m sorry for your loss.”

Weird Sitters lady: “Yeah I heard about that, I think she was just really embarrassed.”

Me: “It’s tragic my husband died, it’s brutal…. but it’s really not embarrassing.”

Weird Sitters lady: “It’s just a bit embarrassing.”

Number 4

“I think my life is bad and then I just look at you.”

Number 3

“You are so skinny……………………..silver lining?”

Number 2

Window cleaner on hearing that my husband has just died: “Wow that’s pants.”

And the winner is…

Upon seeing my old Pilates teacher for the first time in a year.

Pilates teacher: “Alright Orna, you well?”

Me: “I’ve been better.”

Pilates teacher: “Ok brilliant. I’ haven’t seen you in ages, where have you been?”

Me: “Well, I haven’t really been coming because my husband died.”

Pilates teacher: “Okay then, a nice bit of Pilates ought to sort that out then.”

For Adam Hedelin

One thought on “BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s