I’m worried about snow.

What if the snow comes and J’s not here to experience it with me?

This is the same feeling I have when I change something in the house. I’ve given Celeste the spare room so an Au pair can take her room and I’m so worried that when James comes back he will get confused and wonder why everything has been changed.

He might not be happy about how much money I have spent on the redecoration or that I threw out his golf travel bag.

I’ve gone a bit crazy fixing everything in the house and I’m almost there. It is almost perfect and there’s such an urgency to this that I can’t quite explain. But if you were to press me I would say- I’m doing all this and I’m getting everything ready for when James comes back. Everything must be done. No one, except a leftover will possibly understand this.

For Gautom